Family Memories

I remember when I was younger living on the reservation, life was so simple and fun. I had a family that was close, like literally. We all lived within a mile of each other. My grandparents, aunts, cousins, we all had our little big land we resided on.

I guess I never realized it, but I was lucky that I didn’t have to travel far to visit relatives.

Even for holidays, we would just drive about half of a mile to get to the celebration. Those were the best. We would all gather at either my grandma Dorothy’s place or my grandpa Jarvis’ place. I was still a child then, so I just ran around and played games like tag and hide-and-seek. We would play for a while until the food was ready. We would eat while laughing and then after we would go right back to playing.

It was like that on Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. There was always a feeling, to me, of warmth and happiness. Being together and being a family was comforting.

My cousins, sisters, and I were like best friends. We used to have walks early in the morning before the sun came up. We even created a club. The information was printed on paper that included the members, the time of meetings, and the rules. It was quite official. For a couple weeks, we would go to this “secret” place where we planned to build a clubhouse there.

Oh yeah, my sisters and I would sometimes go to our cousin’s house when they weren’t allowed to have people over. When their parents came home, we would run to our grandma’s house or hide if it was too late. We had some very good and hilarious times together. I wish it was still like that.

But as time went on, my relatives and I started going to different schools and finding “cliques” of our own. We started drifting apart. We no longer went on walks or played “house.”

I guess everything slowly changed as we grew up. Some moved away while others stayed.

Those fun and amazing holiday dinners we used to have became less important. We started having dinners with our own families. Now we don’t have them at all. I would call it a miracle to have everyone under the same roof without any anger towards someone these days.

Holidays have become just a regular day. Take today for example, I just stayed home and did nothing. We didn’t go to church or have a dinner. I didn’t even hear anyone say to each other, “Happy Easter!” That’s pretty sad because holidays used to be so fun and exciting. Now I feel like they’re nothing.

I’ve come to the realization that I took those days for granted. I didn’t realize how important they were. I was too busy looking towards the future to enjoy what I had at the time. Now I know, like Kurt Vonnegut said, “Enjoy the little things in life because one day you`ll look back and realize they were the big things.” 

The Loss of an Inconsequential Object

Losing something like your wallet in a restaurant or your suitcase in an airport is truly heart-breaking. It can ruin your mood for the rest of the day or maybe even week. You try your hardest to remember where you last seen it and still find nothing. It happens all the time, everywhere and every day.

I’ve had several experiences with this, but the one I will remember the most is losing my phone. It was the end of the Furious 7 movie when I noticed that I didn’t have my phone. I panicked looking all around the seats and the bathroom stalls. I asked the employees, but they didn’t find anything. They just told me they would call if anything was found.

I had the worst feeling ever and I took my anger out on everyone. I honestly don’t know why I was in a bad mood. It meant that I would get a new phone, but not until months. I had to continue on with my day like nothing happened.

The only thing I was worried about was my pictures. I hoped that all my photos were synced to Google. I checked on my sister’s phone, but not all were there. I noticed that the last photo taken was of a suitcase the night before the choir trip to California.

I remember the trip like it was yesterday. It’s probably the best trip I’ve ever had. I took a lot of pictures; pictures of the beach, of the Disney characters, and of the amazing places. We had a challenge to take pictures of specific circumstances and upload them to Instagram. I wasn’t really a social media person then so I only uploaded the ones I wanted, which was a few. It was a sad moment realizing that I would never have those photos ever again. I regretted not taking care of my phone.

Thinking of it now, it wasn’t or isn’t a big deal. If I didn’t lose my phone, I wouldn’t have bought a new and better phone— it’s still not the iPhone but oh well. I know that if I still had those pictures, it wouldn’t make difference. The photos I do have are just photos. I don’t cherish them like they’re diamonds. I barely even look at them or notice them. Yes, it is a great memory to have when I see them, but I can remember those memories on my own without looking at anything. I just have to think of it and there it is.

Even though I barely have any photos of the best spring break of my life, I have memories in my head that will probably stay there forever. That is what I tell myself. Other than those photos, my phone had no sentimental value and it wasn’t worth getting upset about. Just remember that when you lose something, decide whether it is that important to throw a fit about or if it’s that valuable to ruin your day. If not, then go on with life happily knowing what really matters.

An Insignificant Choice

It has been six months since I quit my job at Carl’s Jr. (Yes, the Carl’s Jr. that was in the newspaper a few weeks ago for something inappropriate but never mind that.) Everyone thinks that I quit because I was falling behind in school. That is only part of  the reason.

The days before I quit I had been contemplating whether I should quit or not. I decided that if I quit, I would have more time to do my homework and hang out with friends. If I didn’t, I would still have money for myself, but I would be tired all the time.. I clearly had my mind made up, but I didn’t actually come out and say it  until one moment.

The moment I realized that I wanted to quit, I was at the fair with my friends. They were telling me what they were doing the next night and it sounded fun, but I remembered that I was scheduled to work the next  night. I was bummed . I told them I couldn’t go with them and the reason why.

They knew that I didn’t like working there anymore, so they just told me quit. They gave me all the reasons why. That’s when I bluntly said, “I’m going to quit tomorrow.” They high-fived me and said some yays. I felt good.

The next day after school, I turned in my uniform and quit. I saw my boss’s face and it was filled with sadness, kind of. I felt bad because I found out that the day before someone else quit. I did what I had to do and the next hard part was telling my dad.

I was scared that he would yell at me, but he understood. I told him that my grades were going down and I’ve been really tired everyday. He just told me that it’s alright and at the end of the month that I should start applying for jobs.

That night I met up with my friends. I told them I quit and they were in shock. I guess they thought I wouldn’t do it. I told them that I’d rather be there with them. It was a fun night and I was glad I was there instead of at work.

A few weeks went by and I kind of had regret. I no longer had a job and I didn’t have that much money. I wished I still had a job. The thing that no one knew was that I quit because I wanted to have fun with my friends. I told my friends and my family that I quit due to my tiredness, but that was a white lie.

I traded a job that pays me money for a night out with my friends. I now think that night wasn’t really worth it. It didn’t have a long-term effect on me. I can barely even remember it. I kept telling myself that I quit because i was tired, but I wasn’t convinced. I quit for all the wrong reasons.

For weeks I was mad at myself for making the wrong decision, but then I thought to myself, everything happens for a reason, right? My mindset changed and I had to deal my decision. I haven’t had a job for six months and I have to watch what I spend.

If I went back to that night, I would tell myself to figure out what is really important in life and go for it. Don’t trade something important for something else not worth your time because in the end, those thing really don’t matter.